Too much eye candy leads to brain decay

Hideeho neighboreenos!

I have come to the conclusion that I watch too much tv. I actually watched an episode of 'Extreme Makeover'. The thought that normally comes to mind is 'I would rather roll in my own puke than watch reality tv.' Well, I watched, and I didn't end up smelling like vomit.

Why am I emparting these gross words of wisdom upon you the readers? Umm... well... err... I don't really know, but I will tell you this... I came up with some interesting bits that used funny comparisons or zingers. Examples:

Never trust a landscaper with clean fingernails / never trust a surgeon with dirty fingernails.
Never trust a plumber named Rusty.
Never buy a wooden leg from a woman named Eileen.
Never hire a one-armed lion trainer
Never hire an ugly plastic surgeon.
Never trust a dog named 'Killer' / never trust a cat
Never buy a used car from a guy in a new suit / never buy a new car from a guy in an old suit

I came up with 2 whole pages of examples in the time that I watched 'Extreme Makeover'! I'm gonna try them out at my next open mic and see how they go over.

It's been fun! Time to go! Must make sentences shorter!