Employee discounts and bad help files

Yeah, I'm back... what's it to ya?

A few things are on my mind. I *finally* broke down and got a dvd burner for my 'puter. It works great, plus it was a discontinued model, plus this week I was eligible for my employee discount (I can't say where I work, let's just say we sell a lot of STAPLES). DVD burner with discounts for $43 simolians. Now If I could figure out how to work it! AARRGGHH!!

Well, I *know* how to work it, just not the stupid %#$^#$ NERO software. Hey NERO, could ya maybe make the help files a little more DESCRIPTIVE!? I finally got to watch my performance dvd from the Funnybone, but I can't figure out how to re-burn or edit so I can make a DISK THAT FRICKIN' WORKS IN MY APEX DVD PLAYER!!!

(pantpantpant)

OK, anyyyway... I went over my routine and took notes and marked where I got the best reactions. Not quite where I expected, mostly where I expected, though. One spot had a 'groaner' which I didn't expect (still funny, though) Also, My runtime was seven and a half min!!!
I saw where I *think* I got my first light, I looked up in the soundman's direction, about the six minute mark. I thought I was down to a tight six and a half min total... I didn't count on laugh pauses, and my feeding off of, and reacting to the audience.

Conclusions: I REALLY need to have my stuff MEMORIZED! The 'crib note' bit is funny though. I didn't realize it, but I think there were some laughs at the fact that when I was gesturing, the audience could see my notes, plain as day, on my right hand. I looked like a doofus glancing at my notes... *until* I actually did the 'crib notes' bit, then the audience 'got it'.

I think I'm going to go over my stuff, tighten what I can, maybe eliminate or change the stuff that didn't get the reactions I expected, and plan on some more open mics. I guess the more I do it, the tighter I'll get (if only that worked for my ex wife's hooha!) Whoops! Honey, If you're reading this... I still love ya. Really! ;-D

Enough for now. Back to trying to figure out the #$*#$*!@ NERO software.

TV is my friend

Yeah, I watch too much TV. But sometimes it's for the best.

There are a couple of low watt TV stations here in cincy... WBQC and WOTH. They have a great syndicated comedy show called "Bananas". It is a clean or family oriented comedy program with wholesome sponsors. The comedians don't use any profanity or 'blue' material. I happened to catch the show tonight and one of my favorites, Bob Nelson was on. He used to curse in his act. Not any more. He still does the same funny material, just no cussing. Still as great as ever! It encourages my to keep mine clean as well.

It's hard to constantly censor myself because I have some funny bits that happen to be a little racy or have cussing. I can see by Bob Nelson's act the same material is still funny without the cussing. I will try to cut out the unnecessary language. I figure the funny stands on it's own regardless of what words are used to express it. Sure, some bit's or characters seem funny with cursing, but why? It may just be shock value or a crutch to get the easy laugh.

One of my better bits is about Tourettes Syndrome. (uncontrollable speech - look it up lazy) One of the symptoms is cursing out loud (i.e. yelling out with your 'inner voice') It's gonna be hard to figure out how to cut out the cursing, since tourettes sometimes involves actual cursing. BTW - I am making light of some of life's tragedy (tourettes), not trying to insult victims of the disease.

Anyhow, enough on that... I guess I'll just cut the curses short.

I'm trying to go through my notes to work up some new bits... I think I'll try to get out to some more open mics. If I can remember it, I should have at least 6 solid minutes of material. Maybe I'll change my dog bit around a little... I swear... *every* time I do it, I forget part of the bit. Actually it was the *original* joke that I wrote for it. Actually it is the first good joke I wrote, and EVERY time I try to get it out, I forget it!! (insert raspberry here) >:-P~

Another thing I'm working on is trying to avoid doing other peoples material by accident. Not like I'm a plagairist or anything, it's just I've seen so many comedies or comedians, I'm afraid I'll think I'm making up a joke, yet it was just something I'm remembering subconciously from someone else's routine. Though... there do seem to be some common "Is it just me, or..." type observations, that everyone including Seinfeld has already done.

Let's see (rubbing chin) "Dogs"... been done, but not like mine. "Monkeys/sausage"... DEFINATELY not been done before. "Tourettes"... maybe? not like mine, that I know of. "Sex Addict"... think it's been done, but not like mine. "NASA"... seen other stuff, but not like mine... I'm thinking of dropping or changing this, I think it's the weakest in my set. "Colonoscopy"... Strongest bit (closer) I've seen other comedians do bits about having medical procedures. I actually saw a comedian's website with video online, and he does a little about colonoscopy, but not like mine. I had never seen this guy before, I just happened to stumble across it a couple of days ago doing a google search. Also, I remember a comedian, from about 15 yrs ago, who did a funny bit about gall bladder or appendix surgery, but not real similar to mine. Actually, I wish I had a video of it. It was really funny.

So, lets see... intro/dog/monkey-sausage/nasa/sex addict/colonoscopy/end. I actually had it down to about 6 1/2 min almost every time (on tape, that is) and I finished before the light at the graduation show. At least I *think* I didn't see a light. I can't wait to go back to the Walton, KY open mic. I think I'll take my notes and do more time since there basically IS no light. We could do as much or as little as we wanted (thanks Tina!) I'll try out some stuff from notes and see if it gets a laugh, then work it in somehow.

I am going to keep doing the 'crib notes written on my hand' routine... it involves a call back which I've never tried out before. (it all ties to monkey, sausage, boomerang, penis length...) You really are wondering about this aren't you? I hope it's as funny as I think it should be.

ENOUGH ALREADY! I need to get up early for my day job, so it's beddie bye time for me.

(insert current hip vernacular for goodbye here)