What to do about a wild hair up your butt...

You know, I had a whole bunch of pithy and thought provoking stuff here, but I hit 'back' and lost it! AArrgghh! I don't feel like retyping it, so you just let your imagination run wild and let me know how you liked it.

All I remember was something about rants, meatballs, and chocolate oreos.

Comedy Class, Open Mics, and Writing Material

All right kiddies, settle down. The Morkster is back!

Now that my back is loosened up and my fingertips look like an old man's scrotum, I feel up to more blogging.

Comedy Class:

Jeff Jena has a great thing going. I frankly had no idea what the class would be like. I now have a healthy appreciation for working comedians. I consider myself to be fairly amusing under the right circumstances and I have no great fear of speaking in front of a crowd. I used to be a 'metal musician' back in the 80's, and I'm not quite a stranger to a stage or performing in front of crowd (well, not like 'performing' on a porn set, but that's another story)!

I originally heard about Jeff's class by reading Ray Price's excellent website and blog, and I wanted to see for myself what it was like to tell my own jokes to see if others found them as amusing as I did (narcisisstic much?). I mostly had a couple of pages of absurd observations and underdeveloped punchlines. Truth to tell, I was more nervous getting up in class for my first 'rant' than getting up at the Funnybone at the graduation night performance.

I really liked the process of perform, polish, critique, rewrite... Every class, getting up and doing 2 min in one class, 3 min next class, until I finally had a 6-7 min set. It wasn't completely polished, but it was a good framework to hang my comedy on. My big problem (which actually had a silver lining) was my inability to memorize. I finally ended up writing bits on my palm with a pen, this led to an impromptu ad-lib about my handwriting, which led to a whole new bit involving monkeys throwing sausage. (all I can say is, you have to be there)

My Material:

I'm trying to stay as clean as possible, but I do have an occasional potty mouth. I try to avoid subjects that are too derisive. I'm not a sell out, namby-pamby, nancyboy, I just don't feel the need to whine and cry about what politician I support or what cause you should honor. I just try to be a little silly and irreverent with a little slapstick thrown in. I really like 'storytellers' like Andy Griffith or Ellen DeGeneres, but I also like Steven Wright, Bob Nelson, as well as the 3 Stooges. (eclectic or schizophrenic?) Ideally, I like material that is 'storytelling' with a little wackyness and some zingers thrown in for flavor.

I keep a daily notebook where I write down the odd ideas, observations and lines as they come to me. I have pages of bits that need a final polish and 'stage time' to see what works or not. My Ideal set would have 50% 'funny stories' aka Griffith or DeGeneres, and 50% 'bits'... i.e. setup, punchline, rule of 3s, callback, etc. (gee, maybe some of Jeff's class rubbed off on me)

My Performance:

I've only performed twice (I'm lazy, I'll admit) I could chase after open mics, but frankly, my day job keeps me busy, and my schedule is really fractured. Plus, I don't know if my pile of crap I call an automobile would make it to out of town clubs.

My first performance was my graduation at the Funnybone in November of last year. Truth to tell, It was all a blur. I was so excited to be on stage, I don't remember what got laughs. I vaguely remember one or two spots that got laughs, but overall, it's a blank. I got my dvd recording of the show, but dangit, my player refuses to play it! I've seen it once at a friend's house who just happened to be a videographer, so he had a great dvd player. He thought I was funny, which was good.

My second performance was last week at a small bar in Walton, KY. It was arranged by a classmate, Tina Klusty. I really intended to just attend for moral support, I had no intentions of performing! I had not practiced my 'set' in almost 3 months! I did have a new bit (monkey/sausage/boomerang.. again, you have to be there) which got a laugh. I must either be really egotistical or have a really thick skin. I was not nervous on stage, I thought it went ok considering I was essentially 'cold' and not prepared. My set from class was about 6 min. and went like this:
intro/my big dog/hypochondriac-tourettes/sex addict/nasa/colonoscopy/finish.

I winged it, and I *believe* my Walton performance was:
intro/my name is mork/dog/monkey-sausage/tourettes/sex addict/nasa/colonoscopy/finish

These are meaningless unless you know my material, this is just for description. I felt very loose on stage. I can be chatty if need be. I don't have problems speaking in front of strangers, I just can't remember my material, thus the need to write my lines on my hand (thus leading to my new bits). :-)

Oh well, enough for now, my fingers have lost their pruniness, so I'm off. Maybe a walk in the mall, maybe some random acts of smart-alecky behaviour or possibly a nap. I'm just that kind of guy.

Fear and loathing in Ohio or How I Learned To Love The Blog

Welcome All! After many soul searching minutes, wedged in between watching 'The Price is Right' and wolfing down my microwaveable Aunt Jamima French Toast and Sausage Breakfast, I decided to launch my comedy blog!

PLEASE! PLEASE! Sit down. Stop looking for pitchforks and torches. The villagers are busy enough as it is. Let me explain what this blog is all about. Well, erm... uhh... not much, really. Comedy I suppose. My comedy, that is.

Here's the backstory so far: A few months back, in a fit of boredom and depression, I was 'googling' (it's a verb now) for comedy sources in Cincinnati. I came across the blog of Ray Price, well known vegetarian, tree-hugger and all around raconteur (look up the definition yourself, ya lazy bum). Anyhoo - he mentions the comedy classes held by Jeff Jena at the FunnyBone Comedy Club at Newport On The Levee. I needed some cheering up, so I decided to join the class.

Long story short (BTW - that is short for "so, to make a long story short" This explanation in itself defeats the purpose of using the term 'long story short'. Also BTW is an acronym, I think, for "by the way", someone please pinch me now before I waste more space unnecessarily) OW! So.. where was I? Oh yes! LSS, I found the class very fun and friendly, and I learned some interesting things about crafting a comedy routine that might hold the interest of an audience without resorting to weapons or hostage negotiators.

So far, I've performed 2 times in front of a real live audience (not counting friends, neighbors, my dog, overseas tech support, and a cranky old lady at Staples). This blog is gonna be about my musing (it's all about me-me-me), my rants, my material and my comedy performances.

If you have read this far, I assume you are still with me on this. Anyway, I'm going to discuss my writing and performance techniques, ideas for bits (that's comedy lingo *wink*), and general ranting.

I am now going to end this entry and take a well deserved warm bath (my back is killing me, the heat helps) plus the acoustics in the bathroom are great for working on silly sounds. My dog hates it when I start making the howling 'woo woo' noise at just the right pitch to resonate off the shower walls. Then again, I hate it when he eats his own poop, so we're even. TTFN (you look it up!)